Friday, July 23, 2010

all the news that's fit to print

The Telegraph has done it again. In a world reeling from major ecological disasters and economic woes, my new favourite daily news organ yet again finds major stories no-one else is reporting on.

Seriously, click here.

I kind of want to talk about something else, just in case before you click onto the story & come back, you realise that the Telegraph's headline really is "Transvestite had sex with a dog at English Heritage castle". The story itself reads like an episode of Allo Allo. Or Are You Being Served on holiday in Cornwall...

I mean, why do the two ladies with the dog see the man in the dress, and then chase after him "later"? And why bother - the place was "heaving" with visitors. Though he is described as a "lone" transvestite. Not so lone, then. And I love that "other agencies were liaised wth". Indeed.

Perhaps the killer line in this sory, the most English, the most bizarre, is the final line. Just enjoy the understatement in this again:
A spokesman for English Heritage said: "This was a very rare incident".

No - really? Very rare? It happens, what, two or three times a year, no more? RARE!!! I hope it's bloomin' unique! Men in dresses assaulting dogs in the moats of mediaeval castles - "Oh yes, we do come across this, but less often than you'd think," said a spokesman for English Heritage; "mind you, the man in the gorilla suit taking his snake for a walk - now that was a one-off."

4 comments:

Marcus Green said...

Other stories today: elderly nuns on the run -
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/7906907/Two-nuns-go-on-run-over-threat-to-send-them-to-retirement-home.html

And beer to be served in dead animals -
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7904698/Beer-to-be-sold-in-dead-animals.html

And there are other stories I'll leave you to find, but which "failed to impress local police" in Lewes.

the_exile said...

I'll never think of 'tie a yellow ribbon' the same way again.

Marcus Green said...

Ahhh... you found it...

theMuddledMarketPlace said...

this weeks phone call from the clergy retirement home should be fascinating >.<