It's a false familiarity. An unexpected jolt like the prize draw letter that you, Mr Green, can't quite put down, because you, Mr Green - yes that's right you, Mr Green - have been specially selected from over 500,000 people in your town/city/locale to receive it! Mr Green, don't lose this opportunity to change your life! (Ooh, slight hesitation, and it's in the waste basket.)
But with this one false touch suddenly FaceBook makes me feel guilty.
"What's going on, Marcus?"
Nothing. Honest. I wasn't doing anything. I have nothing to hide. Why, who said I did?
Somebody said I did, clearly. It's no longer just unwanted ads for Star Trek memorabilia and tickets to Doctor Who conventions, along with offers of signed photos of Ryan Gosling and demands from charities asking why I haven't yet saved three puppies today that assault me every time I flip over to FB.
Now there's an accusation awaiting me.
It might as well say: "OWN UP NOW AND STOP WASTING OUR TIME, Marcus."
What's going on? Nothing. I haven't committed any crimes, defrauded the government, refused to pay corporation tax, defended the NRA, built a nuclear weapon in my cellar & sold it to Iran, helped the Chinese increase Global Warming, excused the US for not caring about the same, smoked anything (questionable or otherwise) all day, been binge drinking again, hacked into MI5's website, built a computer code to crack the lottery, or said anything (EVER) against Clare Balding.
See. I'm pure as the driven.
"What's going on, Marcus?"
And yet that last-beat leaning on my name means I feel guilty. I'm going to be found out, aren't I? Big FaceBrother is watching me.
I've got this sudden inexplicable urge to splurge, to tell all, to reveal my inmost, to let it all out and confess in the confines of the box provided.
Goodness. Is this what it feels like to be brought up Catholic?
Does anyone know if I can still join MySpace? Is it OK to convert so late in life?
1 comment:
LOL
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