how to curry favour...

The world has been entranced by Presiding Bishop Michael Curry's address at the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. His words on the power of love have had enormous impact.

However, there has been a mystery about how the Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church was chosen to deliver this address -

Until now.

A recording has emerged of Harry & Meghan's wedding preparations with the Archbishop in Lambeth Palace. The following is a partial transcript of that recording.

The scene is a drawing room in Lambeth Palace. 

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle sit wth the Archbishop of Canterbury, sipping tea & discussing plans for their upcoming ceremony.

Prince Harry: We’d like some advice about the wedding, archbishop.

Archbishop of Canterbury: Yes, of course.

PH: Obviously, it would be good to have a mix of things.

AoC: Obviously.

Meghan Markle: Being, you know - 

AoC: Mixed race.

PH: A royal wedding.

AoC: Well, precisely.

PH: Papa has given us some classical type tunes and things, and they seem OK...

MM: We’ve never heard of them

AoC: (pause as he looks down list) Nor has anyone else. Good Lord.

MM: Yeah, right, so we thought something a bit more popular would be good.

AoC: Something that Suits you - as it were! (AoC laughs at his own joke)

MM: Sorry?

AoC: Apologies. (sounding embarrassed) Now actually, I ‘m very good at this popular music thing.

PH: Really?

AoC: Yes - there’s that young black person who’s in the album charts at the moment…

PH: Er… That doesn’t really narrow it down.

AoC: Plays the cello.

MM: That narrows it down. Maybe not quite what we were thinking.

AoC: Oh, Ok. Well we can always put him in the signing of the register then.

PH: And what will we do while that happens. ?

AoC: (audibly surprised at the question) Stand by me, of course.

MM: You know, I really don’t think we should perform; couldn’t we get a choir to do that?

AoC: No no no no no - I mean you’ll stand by me to sign the register. 

        Though now you mention it…that's not the worst idea.

PH: And then we need to think of someone to give the address.

AoC: (A smile creeping into his voice) Well, thank you, I rather thought - 

MM: (interrupting) Apparently there’ll be two billion people watching.

AoC: (instantly businesslike) - it shouldn’t be me. No. Definitely not. 

PH: And Grandmother said not anyone from Alpha or the Archbishop of York.

AoC: Ah. I see. Anyone you’d like?

PH: Don’t really know many preachers. Better on rugby players. Army types.

MM: Actors. 

PH: The Beckhams.

PH & MM: Elton John. 

AoC: Well, who would your Grandmother like?

PH: Oh, God knows. Don’t try to curry favour - just give her something Anglican, something that makes her laugh, or a horse.

MM: But not the Archbishop of York.

AoC: (As if a light has just gone on) Well… “curry favour”… I think I may have just the right person for you…